Back in January, I didn’t know why I chose the word FREEDOM as my focus word for the year and I never imagined it would change my life so dramatically! Writing about, musing over and peeling back the layers of what it means to me, has given me a greater understanding of myself, in a more deep and profound way than pretty much anything else I have ever experienced. I now realize that I have lived with a condition, known as Eleutheromania, for the greater part of my life! Don’t worry, it’s not fatal and I’ve found the cure…at least a cure that will work for me.
Let me share some insights I’ve gleaned over the past twelve months:
1) My daughter has calculated that I have lived in 45 homes, most of them after the age of 22! I believed the moves were usually due to circumstances beyond my control…not always so, I now realize. There was always an element of excitement about a fresh start and new neighbours.
2) For many years, on our lovely yet repetitive route to the office, I was known to blurt out “Turn right!” or “Turn left here!”. The first time it happened I almost caused an accident! After completing the turn onto the road I’d requested, my startled husband asked me why I did that and I simply replied: “I wanted to go on an adventure!” He got used to it after the first few times, poor man.
3) For many years now, I’ve often joked about throwing some jeans and a couple of t-shirts in a bag and hitting the road, for destinations unknown.
4) The most telling insight for me this year was remembering the feeling I got when at sixteen I earned my drivers license. The first time I got behind the wheel, all alone in the car and could decide where I wanted to go, was also the first time in my life that I truly felt safe, in control and free! To this day I am filled with joy and a sense of excitement and anticipation when I get behind the wheel. Are you seeing the direction this is going?
Understanding the part my Sacred Gifts of Creativity, Encouragement & Extraordinary Trust have played in this process and coming to terms with and letting go of the fears, societal conditioning, unhealthy beliefs and behaviour patterns I’ve held for so long, have all led me to my concept of Freedom…finally!
I’ve come to realize that I am at heart, a wanderess filled with wanderlust and a creative, free spirit. I need to honour that, which now means a complete lifestyle change for me.
In the new year I look forward to sharing my plans with you and my new focus word, but until then, I thank you for sharing this journey with me so far and wish you Happy Holidays and a Happy, Healthy, Peaceful & Prosperous New Year!
P.S. – I would love to hear what your focus word was and how exploring it has impacted you. if you didn’t have one this year, I highly recommend choosing one for 2018…you never know what road it might lead you down! 😉
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