Hopeless to Hopeful

Still March-ing toward Freedom! (Ouch, think I may have inherited my Dad’s often corny sense of humour!)

This month Freedom is about shedding old behaviour patterns that have never served me well, especially when it comes to relationships…all kinds.

One case in point Harry (not his real name). Harry and I met in high school, way back in the day when I was a cheerleader and he was on the football team and we clicked immediately upon reconnecting.  So much so that it was beginning to feel like a made for Hallmark TV movie.

Perhaps that’s been part of my problem all these years…I’ve always been a  hopeless romantic. I actually like those sappy, happy ending stories!  Anyway, there was definitely chemistry and common interests and seemingly so much other good stuff, but there were also red flags. Red flags which in the past I would have completely ignored, but not this year, or ever again!

With my ‘word’ for the year in mind, I peeled back the layers of my dysfunctional relationship behaviours and found two things…

1) I’ve had no boundaries in place for most of my life. (they were taken from me at a very young age, but that’s another post.)

2) I’m an Encourager (it’s one of my Sacred Gifts), often to my own detriment, but again I say not anymore.

Without boundaries, I allowed – and I have to emphasize that word, because no one can make you do or feel something unless you allow it – others to walk right into my life and my heart and do as they pleased. I would ignore behaviours or comments that should have been red flags and stifle my own hurt and disappointment, all the while continuing to encourage, love and support. Inevitably that would catch up with me until some seemingly small issue would cause me to run for the hills, leaving a puzzled and hurt person behind.

Perhaps in part, a milestone birthday this year has a little to do with the change in me. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve lived long enough to know that time really does heal wounds and I can survive pretty much anything. I’ve had more than enough drama and stress and need a little serenity and of course freedom. I’ve started looking for the red flags, stopped being afraid of being alone and realized that nothing bad happens when I do that.

I started using my Sacred Gift of Encouragement on myself and realized that not only was it okay, in fact it’s necessary!

So here I am, month three and feeling freer by the minute, moving on from any kind of relationships that no longer enhance my life and in the process, I am being transformed  and one of those changes may be from Hopeless Romantic to a Hopeful one!